Over the month, i’ve had the chance of a few glimpses of her.
At Toye’s party, at the charity event Biodun Taylor held for a little kid suffering from leukemia, infact she was almost everywhere Toye hung out. Toye is Kendra’s cousin who is always around him and since Bibi is Kendra’s best friend, she is always around Toye too. Sometimes i wonder if she has her own life ( she better not hear i said this).
Everytime is see her, there is always a war between desire and pride inside of me and pride is always winning. What hurts actually, is the way she carries herself like she is living without me. Yeah, she’s a strong girl who knows how to control herself and deal with her feelings “sometimes” and i’m the one here, trying all i can to not get depressed seeing her have fun all the time and happy. I miss her, i miss the moments we’ve shared and how naive she sometimes is but i still refuse to admit to myself i might be in love with her…how much more do anything about it. I haven’t opened up to any of my friends about my deal with Bibi…okay maybe Nkem. We tell eachother stuff we can’t tell the others. He’s beeen telling me i’m in love with the girl and everytime i ask him to beat it cos i’m not the lover boy type and i’m not going to love some woman even in a million years to which he always laugh saying, “you’ll see, you’ll see.”
Several weeks now have passed since i last saw her and i’m still fantasizing about her body, that first time was really good even though it was her first time and some how, i’m dreaming of a second chance at making love to her. Now i’m calling it lovemaking. Hey, i have to be dreaming or something but i’ve been biting my lips for minutes and i haven’t woken up. Lately, it’s been affecting my work. The idea was to concentrate on other things but it hasn’t worked , only got my employees asking me all the time if i’m alright and that maybe i should take time off..(my temper has been really short).
I finally decide to take sometime off.